Preparing Your Mindset For Life and Career Transitions
Have you ever found yourself considering a major life change or transition but just can’t seem to make a decision based on all the unknowns, fear of failure, fear of making a bad decision, or even taking a step backwards? Hesitation at times can be good but, in the end, you still have to make a big “go, no go” decision.
Somewhat appropriately, I’m sitting here writing this with a wee dram of whiskey, listening to Chris Stapleton singing “Starting Over.” If you know me or have read my LinkedIn profile, you may have noticed I’ve been through a few job transitions over the decades, but not necessarily major career changes as my profession has always centered around experiences from my time in the military and the Central Intelligence Agency. I can’t deny that I like a challenge, and thus I haven’t been one to let the grass get too high under my feet when I have been approached with a new opportunity, location and/or title. Of course, I have often thought of my incredible friends and colleagues who have spent 20+ years in the same position and company and I envy their tenacity and ability to create stability and consistency in their lives.
Usually my decision to make a move is based simply on my personality (this has been a “trend” since my early days in the Air Force), but most have been in a category of an opportunity that just seemed too good to pass up for various reasons. A few of the motivating factors: a challenge, the mission of the new role, the people I would be working with, an interesting geographical location, and usually a better compensation package. Still, each transition brought its own unique challenges, frustrations and rewards. Also, fortunately for me, my wife has been extremely open to new challenges and locations too and has been very supportive and resourceful.
“Change is the only constant in life.”
~ Heraclitus
Of course, I would not necessarily recommend frequent transitions for everyone. Career and family stability are extremely important, including one’s own mental health. Transitions always include stress of a wide variety. But if you’re the type who likes to change it up a little and make a transition every few years, I do mentor others that you better have the right attitude, mindset and realistic expectations, financially and emotionally. If not, you’re in for a rough ride and you’re probably going to make everyone around you miserable, including yourself.
As I write this editorial, I’m in the process of yet another change. This time, however, it is a professional career transition after 40 years in one industry and one I’m truly excited about making. No, it’s not retirement. I’ll share more in time but, in short, it involves bourbon and three other business partners and friends who are also highly-accomplished veterans. Between us all, we’ve served in four different branches of the military, Special Operations, in and out of uniform as well as the intelligence community and sometimes in units referred to as “The Third Option.”
Me, Rick, Harold and RJ -- my partners and co-founders of Four Branches Spirits Co.
This new project will take me back from time to time to my childhood roots around the Appalachian Mountains of East Tennessee and Kentucky as I assume the position of Managing Principal of “Four Branches Bourbon.”
This new business also allows us to bring some of our past experiences into future conversations through a brotherhood and sisterhood bonding over our bourbon and whiskey camaraderie.
It’s exciting because I have also realized through the start-up process of this new business how much my previous experience will lend itself to my new career. Whenever I’ve made a transition in the past, I have always taken an unflinching inventory of what I have in my toolbox to help me make that transition, and also where I need to go “shopping” for more tools in my new role.
And for veterans, this inventory is vitally important to you as you make that transition from the military to the civilian sector and better understand how your military skills and experiences translate to your new opportunities and second career desires.
While neither my father nor my grandfather were distillers (but should have been), I learned my uncle was a bootlegger before he went off to fight in WW2. It goes without saying that I’m also not a farmer growing my own corn, wheat, rye and barley and I don’t have a degree in chemistry, but it helps that I really appreciate the history, traditions, craft, and taste of good whiskey and bourbon. But where I do bring relevant experience to the table is in planning, executing a plan, and networking to assemble the right team. I also have the attitude of admitting I don’t know what I don’t know, but I have no problems working to find answers. Another important lesson from my intelligence career is that you always double and triple check your facts and sources before making any major decisions.
As a writer and author with more than a little entrepreneurial spirit, I, along with my entrepreneurial partners, believe we have the ability to tell a story that many will relate to. After all, whiskey without a background and real story is just a brown liquid. It might even be great whiskey, but it’s still just whiskey. Four Branches Bourbonis more than just a whiskey and we can’t wait to combine our story and many other people’s stories with our bourbon.
Benjamin Franklin once stated regarding the promises made in the new U.S. Constitution: “In this world, nothing is certain except death and taxes.” I would add what the Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, said as well: “Change is the only constant in life.”
If you have lived long enough you don’t need Heraclitus or Franklin to tell you that there are few certainties and life brings many changes and transitions, whether you want them or not. While we’re not always given advance notice of these changes in life, I’ve found there are a few things to help make the process a little smoother and not as stressful.
Not to oversimplify things, but there may be some subtle differences between changes (Do a kitchen reno? Have a baby? Take a new job?) or transitions (moving to new state or country or coping with the loss of a loved one) and you’ll find plenty of books and experts on each. Every situation is different and no two paths will be exactly the same. Both require psychological adaptation to the process. Sometimes you have an element of control and sometimes you don’t. Voluntary transitions can be the cause of a little or a lot of trepidation, but mostly should include some excitement too or I would question why you want to make such a transition.
Whether by choice or by chance, the only true power you do have in times of change or transition is what attitude and mindset you decide to practice.
The following are a few suggestions of elements to consider that I’ve found useful during my transitions:
WHY: Identify your strong reasons for making a transition or change.
WHO: Have one or more mentors during your transition and identify a support team.
HOW: Take the time to write down your plan in detail and key decision points.
WHEN: Set realistic expectations and timelines during the transition, with consideration for everyone impacted (spouses, aging parents, children).
REHEARSE: When possible, mentally rehearse your plan, visualize the transition process and talk it out. And then do it all again. Rehearsal is important.
STAY FOCUSED IN THE HARD TIMES: When you’re going through it, embrace it all, the good and the bad, and keep your eyes on the other side of the change.
HAVE FAITH: If you are a believer in faith, now’s the time to use it.
Whether by choice or by chance, the only true power you do have in times of change or transition is what attitude and mindset you decide to practice. Note that I say “practice” because it will be a new “mental muscle” or skill, and you probably won’t feel that power every day. Significant life events such as the loss of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job, birth of a child, a move, surviving a disaster, dealing with a major medical condition, and many more events in our lives can of course cause major stress (and even good events can cause stress). As we all know, stress often has a ripple effect into all areas of our lives. The goal is to practice ways to strengthen our abilities to deal with those stressors.
When I was in the military a quote you would often hear was: “Embrace the suck.” Of course, this may not be a formal phrase of advice you would hear in our esteemed universities or from your therapist, but it does get straight to the point of what you have to do to help get through the tough times.
Me pondering the great Matterhorn recently and my next transition – both pretty big.
Very often, tough experiences that involve profound loss you never get over and I acknowledge that. You slowly learn to cope with a new normal and keep moving forward.
But when it comes to voluntary life transitions, I have found that visualization helps me to see potential obstacles and it helps me plan for the difficulties ahead as much as possible. I try to create a detailed plan in my mind. I try to carve out a path to follow and, where needed, I go with the flow until I can push through to another level of the plan. If you like to hike or climb, this visualization exercise might make more sense as you’re always looking ahead for the right footing or handhold, and where you might take a moment to rest and plot your next steps.
No idea or plan is ever linear. Say that again to yourself whenever you look at others’ successes. They almost all involve sleepless nights, financial struggles and talking yourself out of self-doubt and pivoting. Know going in that there will be dark nights, but the sun does rise again as long as you keep working a reasonable and attainable plan. This last statement is a real key to future success. You must know what your true strengths and weaknesses are and how you can work with them or around them. Many people can’t. I am not telling everyone to “follow your dream no matter what.” Dreams do have to end because of many, many variables. And ruining your life, marriage, family and other relationships can be real consequences if you’re not careful in your pursuit of your dreams. It’s a delicate balance.
Athletes, artists, architects, designers, and every successful small business owner use some form of visualization to create their final product – whether it’s sketches or written schemes put into practice, or even just “ordinary” business plans. I do believe visualization is one of the most powerful tools we all possess, but it doesn’t help if you don’t tap into it and actually use it. And please remember visualization includes detailed planning, not just “dreaming.”
We know cortisol and adrenaline are released in our bodies during stressful times. Take care of your mental and physical health in transitions because if you don’t, among other ailments, they can cause you to have what I would refer to as “transitional tunnel vision.” This can occur when you’re not paying enough attention to various elements around you that can affect your plans.
Some things will happen that can either positively or negatively impact your “plan” and you ignore them because they aren’t part of your plan. Acknowledge detours. Acknowledge when you have to pivot and make a new decision. As I said, remember that nothing is ever truly linear. If you need to start over with a new plan because life threw too many curves at your plan (COVID? Serious illness? Accident? Financial setback?), do so. It is not failure to regroup or even start over.
As often quoted: It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. When possible, try to drive the timing of any transition or change instead of it driving you. Of course this isn’t always possible and when it’s not, take the time to think through the process before starting. Also include others from your circle of trust in the conversation. Even the best of plans are constantly reevaluated along the way.
Dwight D. Eisenhower is often credited with saying: Plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.
Making the best out of career and life transitions requires a lot of elements coming together, but attitude and visualization just might be your best assets.
Here’s to making great transitions…and bourbon – with a toast to all who bravely face the challenges of new experiences.
- Mike
